Change Letter year 10 number 35

Expatriates Feel Lonely

Loneliness, I believe, is a fundamental challenge, threat, and personal opportunity for expatriates in their social connectedness with themselves and with others. In this spring edition of the seasonal change letter I would like to share the essence and preliminary insights of my Ph.D. research on loneliness and sense-making in expatriates’ everyday lives.

“Although all the convenience, I am living here in a golden cage.”

Loneliness
Loneliness in my Ph.D. research concerns the experience that expatriates have (had) with social disconnection, both on a personal and professional level: between I and other(s), and between I and self. I want to explore how this affects expatriates’ sense-making process(es).This starts with the identification of I and the others.

Identification of I and the others
Identification matters to social interaction because it is the basic cognitive mechanism that humans use to sort out themselves and their fellows, individually and collectively: “it is the ‘baseline’ sorting that is fundamental to the organization of the human world: it is how we know who’s who and what’s what” (Jenkins, 2008, 13).

To identify expatriates’ personal and professional lives in their sense-making process (Weick, 2005), I use the dramaturgical model of Goffman. Goffman (1959, 1969) defined two main stages; the back-stage as (personal) ‘private image’: how do I see myself?, and the front-stage: as the (professional) ‘public image’: how do I think others see me?

So far, in my research, I have seen two main categories of expatriates related to Goffman’s model: ‘insiders’ and ‘outsiders’ – constituting a possible paradox. I will describe these categories using quotes from several interviews I have conducted with expatriates in Thailand below.

Expatriate ‘outsiders’
Expatriate ‘outsiders’ seem to be more or less socially disconnected from themselves and from others. They are not really in balance with their personal and professional lives. Personally they are wrestling with the well-being and education of their children and the possibilities of a (part-time) career for their spouses: “although all the convenience, I am living here in a golden cage”. They are also busy with the question of how to deal with cultural differences: “personally I am in the middle of a huge cultural shock”. Most of the outsiders are living in a compound that could isolate them further: “as an expat it is easy to build up relationships and friends here (in a compound) because you are part of a specific expat community. In that way you are not lonely. But in a certain way it intensifies loneliness because you isolate yourself from local people”.

Expatriate ‘insiders’
On the other hand, expatriate ‘insiders’ seem to be social connected with themselves and with others. They are in balance with their personal and professional lives. They are living between locals, eating Thai food and are (very) interested in Thai culture. They see culture as a given fact: “to meet other people you have to be open yourself, to be flexible”. Insiders have the ambition of leaving something behind for the people in their (new) environment: “in the weekends I am working as a volunteer”. To meet yourself and others is as one of the interviewees stated: “to find the key to unlock people’s boxes”.

Preliminary conclusion
The preliminary conclusion at this stage of my research is that ‘the expatriate’ does not exist. Every (individual) expatriate has his or her own identity: name, appearance, uniqueness that is reflected in (multi) social-network or communities, defined as the others. Some expatriates feel lonely, isolated and/or socially disconnected at a personal and/or professional level, and some do not. How this affects their sensemaking processes, I have to investigate further.

If you are interested in more information concerning Expatriates Feel Lonely, please feel free to let me know. You can mail me or contact me via my LinkedIn account.

Martin J. Loeve MBA

Martin Loeve MBA is founder and director of Delta Change Management. For over 15 years he has managed change processes for organisations and institutes and facilitated directors, managers and entrepreneurs at individual and organisational development levels, both nationally and internationally. Martin has written the book The Change Maker®, a how-to-guide for personal and business changes. In 2009 he started to work on his Ph.D. at the University of Humanistics. His research will focus on I & Otherness in the case of expatriates’ everyday lives in Bangkok.